


Querencia

by Poptarts3005 (pan_fro)



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst, Bisexuality, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Queer Character of Color, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Love, Multi, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-09 22:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11678793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pan_fro/pseuds/Poptarts3005
Summary: (n.) a place from which one's strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.





	1. I.

" I wonder  how she knew black forest was my favorite."

 

She's ambled over to where Taystee is standing against the wall. Her voice playful as she alludes to not having a clue.

  

"Red is a boss and bosses do tend to know everything." 

 

Taystee fails to play along. With honesty, that is. She shouldn't be by herself, slugging it on the outskirts of this celebration. Poussey's celebration. Even though, from the toilet paper banner and the drab ocean of beige, it's more than a little depressing. But everyone else is at least trying and she isn't. She can't, she can't muster even a modicum of strength to stand near people, let alone smile. 

 

Poussey understands though, smiling big and bright enough for the both of them. Reaching down and taking her hand, "It's one of the things I miss most about Germany. I had  just  moved there, didn't know the language- I couldn't read the menu for shit at the first restaurant we went to-" 

 

" - but your parents ordered black forest cake for dessert and in the end, it was all good because - "

 

" -it was chocolate!", her laughter dwindles to it's end with an affectionate sigh.  Poussey's smile high - spirited and warm as she nudges Taystee's shoulder, "Thank you," lying her head in the crook, "It's nice to know that you listen to me ."

 

"I like it when you talk," she's taken their hands apart. Running her thumb over the lines of Poussey's palm, "No one's ever talked how you do." Taystee observes with a clearness, as if she's retelling the sweetest dream.

 

"You don't have to act like this isn't hard," She's staring up into her eyes, like she can see into the depths of her mind, "I get it."

 

 "What the hell is wrong with you?" She utters in disbelief below her breath. "You always get it, you're always there, when do I start doing it for you?"

 

"My happiness should never come at the expense of your feelings." Her voice is harder than before but her touch maintains its kindness. "So, kill that shit, okay?," she tilts her head in gesture for their eyes to meet. The usual geniality of her character having returned, "You feel how you feel."

 

She's looks down onto this woman. Her universe. Eyes drifting over stars and planets that are no different from before. But overwhelming all the same, so her eyes wander to the room around them.  Landing on where Brook is standing as she, quite  fairly  , resides over the Foosball game between Janae and Cindy . She's wondering if they share this feeling when Poussey subtlety presses a kiss to her cheek. Her smile giddy when, despite herself, Taystee blushes. Then, she's slipping away to join their friends and wraps her arms around Brook's waist. Whispering something sweet and sly that makes embraced girl laugh.

 

She watches them.  A warmth, that always manages to slip from the grasp of her understanding, permeating her heart. Soon, everyone is gathering around to wish Poussey farewell.  One shy and appreciative speech from the guest of honor later and _"_ _Doo Wop (That Thing)"_ begins to  poorly  sound through the substandard speaker  . The scene of Poussey getting down while Brook sways to the side prompts Taystee to pick herself up. To dust off and push away from the wall and into the doting excitement of their energy. Poussey's overjoyed that she's made it. That this is what she wants. And in no time at all, they're moving together. Poussey flows,  effortlessly  making up for whatever is lacking in their unity. Taystee looks onto and notices Brook standing by. Watching them with a fondness, before extending a hand. _Join_ _._ She advances, more sheepish than ever before relaxing and letting go.

 

They dance, allow themselves to get lost in each other, like it'll be the last time in forever. They aren't in the rec room, they aren't surrounded by their fellow friends and inmates. For a second, Taystee isn't dancing her pain away. Brook isn't holding on by a thread and Poussey isn't leaving. They aren't prisoners, they aren't stuck in place as the world continues to revolve. They're happy, they're in love. Then she's bumped and Brook and Poussey are no longer the object of her vision. Their seclusion in her head no longer a luxury she knows. It's a bittersweet reminder. Suzanne, wild and carefree, chunking an ecstatic fist into the air. She's tethered by Poussey's touch. The woman's excitement and happiness too much for her petite form. There's a sadness. If it's an apology, then it's wanting. It wraps around Taystee like a hug before it clutches her at the throat. Poussey is so beautiful. She's free. This hurts and in that moment, Taystee misses her more.


	2. II.

 

They're in this room. This gateway to freedom and livable life. Taystee is happy. This place isn't for a soul as gentle as Poussey's. This place isn't safe for anyone but especially her. So Taystee's elated, indeed. She smiles as bright as the sadness quaking deep within herself allows her to. She's proud and enamored as she watches Brook and Poussey hug. Poussey says, promises her other half that this isn't the end. Brook beams, leaning into her love so that their foreheads touch. Any and everything spoken through the affection of their contact. Brook believes her. Anyone would. She turns to Taystee and they stare at each other. They're at their best. All is true. In this moment, the need for words ceases to exist.

 

_I'm gonna miss you._

 

_I know._

 

_I love you._

 

_I know._

 

Poussey finally steps forward, and they're wrapping around each other. They're so close, her beloved warm as her head rests in the crook of Taystee's neck. As they embrace, Taystee knows she isn't exaggerating. For when the woman in her arms feels as if she's the sky, every body of water, the earth and the goddamn sun.

 

"I love you too."

 

She's never known Poussey to be quiet. Her voice, that usual uninhibited boom, small as she mumbles those words into Taystee's shoulder.

 

The guard is calling for her to leave and she's slow and reluctant in pulling away. Her movement somewhat halting as their hands slip into bind. But she has to, so Taystee closes her eyes and lets go. Their gazes fall into connection.

 

_I shouldn't want you stay._

 

_But I know you don't._


End file.
